How can I instill such hope, but be left with none of my own.....

Every one is talking about Kony 2012. For what it's worth, here's my two cents.

Looking past the actual crusade itself - which of course is undoubtedly hard, given the images and (possibly inflated) statistics -  the goal of the film, I think, is being widely overlooked. As the narrator states at the beginning of the film - this is an experiment. An experiment surrounding social media and the impact it has, and can make, on all of our lives. Yes, these men feel that they have a vested interest in the plight of the Ugandan people, as they have spent the last decade travelling there, and given that they are film makers, used their talents to shed light on a horrific situation. However, I think that everyone has inevitably missed the larger picture here. To me, this was less about the "Invisible Children" and more about our rights as a human race and the idea that knowledge creates change. That it is possible to make a stand, as a world collective, and make change happen. No, I don't think that by donating money to this cause will go to specifically towards saving these children and the efforts in the capture of Kony himself - in the same way that I don't believe that buying a lunch bag with a pink breast cancer ribbon embossed on it will lead to the cure of breast cancer. But it might remind a woman who happens to see that ribbon to do a self exam or schedule a mammogram. It's all about exposure and awareness. 

And yes, maybe the salaries of the film makers seem high to most. But I wonder, are they less deserving of a high income than say my husband, who essentially works for big oil raping the planet of its natural resources? Is it that outrageous compared to celebrities that make millions of dollars by tweeting their support for a product, regardless if that product may be harmful or inappropriate for its target audience? Or is that ok because their royalties didn't specifically come out of your pocket?

In this amazing social networking world we now live in, is it not a good thing that people are sharing on a massive scale, something other than photos with sarcastic captions and links to their favorite songs on YouTube?  Isn't it a fantastic thing that people are talking less about what plans they have for the weekend and more about moving toward a global social shift in what we perceive as "power" and who actually holds the key to that "power"? 

I hold faith in the human race that one day, we'll all wake the fuck up and realize that we do have a say. That knowledge is power, and regardless of opposition and naysayers, if enough people care passionately about something and make their voice loud enough to those who can facilitate change on a massive scale, then change will happen.  I hope they find Kony. Not only so that he can be held accountable for the crimes he has committed against humanity, but so that the purpose of this experiment can be realized and replicated over and over again. I can only hope that when my kids get to be my age, they don't feel that they are helpless to make an impact on the world they live in, and that they've been shown the ways to instill hope and change.

That's right. I said Nickleback.

Well it's official. I'm reeeeealy lonely. Those who are close to me know that I am not outwardly a "crier" and usually have my emotions in check. I am usually the one calming others down and being the voice of reason. But, in my car the other day, I cried from listening to a Nickleback song on the radio. Apparently, I've reached the limits of my composure.

I can't even begin to express how much I miss Mike in my life. We always say that we need to come up with a new word for 'missing' because it's really not cutting it anymore. I miss all the inside jokes and quotes we share, and how Mike can bust one out at any occasion, completely out of context, and I totally get it. But that's just us. So in sync. From the moment we met.  No one has ever, or will ever, hold a candle to the magic that I feel when we are together. Those have been the best 81 days of my year so far.

This past month I think has been tougher than others. 6 divers sank with their vessel and died at the bottom of the ocean. Saturation divers in the bin, just like where Mike is right now. I'll be honest I haven't slept all that well since then. I cant think of a worse fate. I cant think of a worse thing happening in my life. I just can't even tell you how hard I'm going to squeeze him when he comes through those doors at arrivals.

And as for our kids, well, I think they just might explode when he walks through the door. No one is more fun, or awesome, than Daddy. Hands down, I lose by a landslide. Happily so.

I figure we have about ten to fifteen days until we're all smiling uncontrollably like a bunch of lunatics.
Bring it on. 84 days apart and counting.....

Tonight, you got 15 of my minutes.

So, yeah, I've been slacking. Now, I wouldn't say that I haven't had a free minute in a month to empty my head here. I just used up those minutes on me. Maybe I got to eat a hot meal. Maybe I took an extra long shower. Maybe I did nothing at all. But I can guarantee you this my friends....it was all about me. From the hours of 8pm until whenever I drag myself to bed, I get to pick. I will say though, a lot of my "free" time has been spent unpacking...and unpacking...and unpacking. I'm still not done. I feel like it's a small failure..... ridiculous, I know. But that's just me and my constant want to have things just so. I'm delusional thinking it'll ever happen with 2 kids under the age of 4 and a hubby who's only been home 81 days this year. Eighty-one days. If you know him, you'd know that he deserves better than that. If I have to hide his passport to make him not take any more contracts this year I will. Such a heavy burden to be financially responsible for a family of four all by yourself. Time to take a load off, put up your feet. No one deserves that more.

Tomorrow marks our 3rd wedding anniversary. I didn't think it was possible to love him more than I did that day. I couldn't have been more wrong.

My heart aches with his magical presence missing from my life.
Pity party for one. And yes, I'd like a booth anyways.

It's My Party and I'll cry If I Want To....

Well, here we go. It's all going down starting today. Seven hour round trip to drop off the offspring at my parents house in London, who thankfully, will be watching them all weekend while the house gets emptied. I convinced my girl Kristal to come along for the ride and have my phone loaded up with some bumpin tunes to get us through the day. So thankful for good friends in this CrAzY hectic time in my life. Can't wait until tomorrow when the movers are all done loading up our stuff and I am going to party one last time like I was 20 years old again. I'm sure my 30 year old ass will punish me Sunday morning, but I don't care. I can't imagine any better to end my days here in Peterborough than at the bar where it all began with the ladies who were by my side over the last 11 years. I am one lucky woman to call them my friends. As I grow older, I realize good friends are so hard to come by and I am eternally grateful that we have found each other to lean on through this life. No matter where in the world we are.

xo....M

Down the Rabbit Hole We Go.....

I am so excited to start this next chapter in our lives. Our first home. Sigh. It's been a long, hard road to get here. So much hard work and sacrifice endured over the last few years all leading up to this amazing event in our lives. After renting since I was 17 years old, and always feeling like everywhere I've lived was just a place to hold my stuff, to lay my head down at night - never feeling like any of the places I've lived was my home. Finally, we were able to work hard enough to get exactly what we've been dreaming about. Almost doesn't seem real.

Throughout my life, I have always followed my heart and what I have envisioned what happiness is. Whether it was moving all over the place, changing jobs, starting/ending relationships, having the balls to just say what I feel and do what I think is right....everything I have done since I was 11 years old has been in the pursuit of finding happiness. Deep for a little kid, I know. Sometimes it's overwhelming to think of where I've been, and where I've ended up. I am so grateful for every happy, sad, devastating, wonderful, amazing moment, and wouldn't change one minute of it if it meant I wouldn't end up in the exact same place I am in my life now.

Having said all that, I will never truly be able to express how conflicted my heart feels right now having to leave behind all of those people who have helped shape the person I am today. Just remember, Love knows NO distance. This is NOT goodbye. If you love me like I love you, we'll make it work. Just as we always have.

T-minus three days until all our stuff gets picked up. One week until we fly out. One more cardboard box away from going CrAzY.

xo.....M

Glass slipper? High heels? They're almost the same, right?

Lately, Simone has been making me watch all the Disney Princess movies and is especially excited when there is a "True loves' first kiss" involved somehow. 

Well, here's my favorite FairyTale of them all:

Once upon a time, in a not-so-distant land, there lived a University student. Like all University students, she rarely studied and spent most of her time out hanging with her friends. One night, she went to her favorite pub in town to play some pool and have a few beverages. After getting situated, she ventured up to the bar to get a drink. Behind the bar stood this amazingly handsome man, who had the most captivating smile she had ever seen. She instantly knew he was "the one". She could tell that this was not going to be an easy task to convince the man that she was "the one" for him, as she could tell many ladies fancied that sparkling smile, and he was in high demand. She left the bar that night and went on with her life thinking about him constantly, hoping that every corner she turned she might run into him. 

Knowing where he worked, she went there a lot, hoping he would be there just so she could catch another glimpse of her future, and maybe even work some of her charm on him. Months passed. She ran into him at his work place a few times and he was a customer at her work as well. She knew that only time would be the messenger of love and she must be patient.

One night, while out dancing, the man was working behind the bar. She shamelessly flirted with him alongside many other woman who were doing the same thing. She knew their efforts were fruitless - he was meant to be with her - even if he didn't know it yet. She left the bar that night feeling like she had made quite the impression on him and that she wouldn't soon leave his thoughts. As she entered her apartment, she took of her shoes, looked around and decided it was now or never. She wanted to be near him again and wasn't willing to wait until their next chance meet up. She put her shoes back on, at 3am, and walked back to the bar where he worked. Given that it was way past closing time, she wasn't even sure if he would still be there. She asked a surly bouncer standing by the door if the man was still there, and if so, could he please go and get him. Butterflies filled her stomach waiting out on the sidewalk, 3 am, freezing, in the middle of January. And just then, he walked out the door and she instantly felt strangely at peace. She asked him to walk her home. They walked ever so slowly in the gently falling snow and talked about everything and anything they could think of. Not one moment of awkward silence filled the air. As they approached her doorway, in a dark back alley parking lot, she turned and faced him. He was still trying to resist her charm but under the moonlight, in the falling snow he was defenseless. They inched towards each other and shared true loves' first kiss. 

Sometimes it takes guts to say what you feel and take incalculable risks with your heart. 

I will never have to look back and regret that I didn't put my shoes back on that night. 

That was over 6 years ago. We're still living Happily Ever After. 

First post...stay tuned for a BILLION more ;)

Well, as if I don't have enough going on right at this exact point in time, I decided to start a blog.

See, my hubby and I decided we had enough of Ontario living and being that I am originally from the Maritimes, we decided to pack it all in and move to Nova Scotia. Just like that. Amazing how ideas can become actions with a little determination and planning. Hubby has been working his tushy off for the last 3 years and it's all because of him that we are able to move. That's right my dear - YOU did this. Everyone give some props to hubby - he bought me a house. And not just any house - the exact house I wanted. "A happy life is a happy wife" he always says, and believe me - he knows his stuff. He could have cared less where we lived - in fact he had never even been to Nova Scotia until the day we went there to look at/buy a house. All in one day. Teamwork at its finest.

So, needless to say I am CrAzY busy right now with the moving date only a mere 8 days away, hubby offshore in Thailand, and our 2 little ones running circles around me every minute they are awake. This blog is for my friends and family that are tired of reading my 800 status updates every day. If you know me well, you know that I almost never stop talking when I have real, honest-to-goodness, intelligent,  adult conversation.

Behold the world's longest run on sentence. Be back soon xo